the hungry i
the location of which i do not know
the shape of which i have no idea
a part of me that is somewhere deep within
that is the seat of all that i am
that part of me gets hungry
when all other parts of me seem
comfortable
secure
and fulfilled
that part of me can be
yearning
uneasy
and empty
in a difficult situation when the events of my life
or those close to me become crucial
and I have to make a statement
about what I am going to be
the first word of that statement
"I"
comes from that part of me that is way down deep inside
is there a person who exists who could not talk in this way
i doubt it
this is the way God has made us
all of us have a hungry i
and like all of our appetites this one can become the all
demanding
consuming
appetite of life
it can become a hungry i that devours its neighbor
yet
to be real
to be human
everyone must have an "I"
or end up a zero
this is the way we are made
just as God does not hold our physical hunger against us
nor does God hold this hunger against us
what God does hold against us is
when we pretend that this is not the truth about ourselves
when we pretend that there are not significant times when
we do not care about anyone or anything else just so
the hungry i
gets filled
it is the pretense
not the truth about ourselves
that convicts us
only when we are able to say
yes lord that is me
i cannot throw the first stone here either
only then will we be capable of receiving
the food that overcomes all hunger
the food that is the bread of life
+john winn
John Winn
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Reader Comments (3)
Dear John, I just like the intense creativity that continues to pour through you! Not that this is new, but it's the intensity, aliveness, that is so refreshing. Your writing seems like you're having a conversation with inner self, and letting us all in on it. And like Beuchner said, the truer we tell our own story, the truer we're telling the human story. Blessings, William
Ahhhh, and so much of my life energies were spent trying to shape, hide, adapt that inner i to please others. Sad. But now, free-er (!!) at last. Age 60 looms and wisdom of age and scars of life are the keys to being released from that old trap.Thank you, John, for the clear words, for these light giving words. Hugs, Judy
Ahhhh, and so much of my life energies were spent trying to shape, hide, adapt that inner i to please others. Sad. But now, free-er (!!) at last. Age 60 looms and wisdom of age and scars of life are the keys to being released from that old trap.Thank you, John, for the clear words, for these light giving words. Hugs, Judy